how do you teach your heart
it's a crime
to fall in love again?
-- Jann Arden, "Insensitive"
i think i should...
... start cleaning my room.
as my aunt put it, my room *is* so messy, if anybody just happened to walk in and didn't know better, s/he'd probably think it's a guy's room -- bed unmade, blanket unfolded, jeans hung over the back of a chair, not to mention that loose gray shirt and the matching basketball shorts thrown haphazardly on the bed. and yes, the stack of readings on the side... hmm.. it scares me how i could be so goddamned male sometimes.
... stop looking for The One
i'll face it -- the damn bitter truth, that no matter how hard i try, it just never comes along! i think i should just stop looking for it, and, well, be all passive and such and wait until it finds me. (as if i had not been passive enough, but...) (sidenote: funny how i used "it"...) >> just a thought.
this one goes to the i-think-i-should-but-i-don't-think-i-could list.
... watch my diet. and do a little exercise.
oh this is even harder than quitting.
... stop pining for the things i can't have, and start treasuring the things that i do, and working for the things i CAN obtain.
i've noticed, the past year's pains have been so much about the things i want but i can't have, for one reason or another. this year, i'm saying -- why bother? there are a lot of things i should be thankful for, and a lot of things i could strive for and eventually succeed, so why waste time on the things that are destined to be so near yet so far away?
... BE HAPPY!
yes, i think this year, i should be happy! ... pamper myself once in a while, go easy on the academics *ahem*, lessen the suicidal episodes, and yeah well.. do things that make me happy!
'cause the past year was full of mistakes in this area -- i think i should re-arrange and re-sort out what matters to me. because of course, in twelve months, they must have changed somehow...
hmm. will update this later. i suppose.
in the mean time, i wish everybody a Happy and Safe New Year celebration!