Apr. 3, 2004

planning for the ujp semplanning and other stories

vacation mode. yay.

and what better way to start a wondeful vacation/holy week than with a buffy dvd marathon from 10am to 8pm? *grin*

season 4 rocks. i fell in love with oz and riley - really, i *hate* riley from season 5, i think from what he was in season 4, that was some really bad characterization in season 5... poor him. i thought he was really bland in season 5.. which, i think, was really an injustice to his character. in season 4, he was this... yummy-licious military guy who wore tight olive-colored shirts which he really looked good in... mmhmmm. plus, he did perfect push-ups. sad that he was like that in season 5. could have been a little more yummier, you know.

and the whole willow/oz thing was just the cuteeeeest. aaaaaaaahhhh.. *sniff* i actually cried when they broke up. *sniff, again* oz was just the cutest, i wonder why he never came back in season 5 or 6... just a thought. well, that would've messed up willow and tara big time...

spike. well, still hot. i expected the whole chip-discovery to be amusing, and it was, really. it was hilarious - him and Willow seated apart on a single bed, talking about Spike's inability to feed like they were talking about erectile dysfunction... *rofl*

anyway. enough of that. sorry, i could go all-out buffy sometimes - most especially when i don't catch myself at it right away. haha.

* * *

on other matters.

after sitting down in front of the tv the whole day, i decided to take a break after the fifth DVD (the 19th episode, in particular, which was New Moon Rising, and my absolute favorite in season 4) and finally, i took the time to sit down and plan for the ujp sem planning...

hah. i don't get it, you know.. planning for plannings... i found it weird. last year, all i did was offer the venue for the eight of us - we were only fifteen all in all at the end of last year, can you believe this? it was that... i don't know, life-threatening. last year, our primary concern was to recruit as plenty of members as possible, just to keep the org alive...

but then, there i was, a couple of hours ago - i was going through a list of more or less thirty members, including the execom, and i really could not half believe it. ate karol's term was life-changing, it really was... and going over the things we wanted to accomplish by the end of this year... well, more or less, i think it's safe to say we fared pretty well.

i am torn between being all so fucken happy we got through this year, and all too fucken scared *i* still have a year to go.

i wrote my proposals on a blue book - was thinking of cooking up 3 major projects for first sem next year - UJP Week (of course), the application process and the alumni trail, which is aimed at strengthening alumni ties. i have reason to think the alumni will factor greatly now, simply because we have become closer, inter-year-wise (is that even a term), and this has not happened this... tightly before.

i mean, sure - i was friends with the previous batches of alumni... but then again, we weren't *this* close... and the tambayan hasn't seen that plenty people before june 2003, believe me. i didn't feel like i had an org until some higher powers installed me as memcom head by default last year.

this is so looking-back mode... it's nostalgic, and i kinda like the pain of nostalgia. am gonna miss a lot of people, karol probably the most since she was this... really fascinating person. and she was always there. and... she turned everything around, really. changed my life, that girl.

looking back... god, there was this time i particularly remember, francine and i were discussing putting *trinkets* all over the tambayan... it was funny because it was so kikay, and i think i was just an applicant then - 2001 B.

and charlie and rhea, we went through induction together. god. time flies so fast, and next year, i wouldn't be seeing them anymore, you know? gets sad somewhere along the way.

jesus. i'm gonna miss them. they're gonna graduate, and i'm gonna miss them like hell. you want to know why?

i think i'm gonna miss them really hard because i'm estimating next year i'd feel so lost. whenever i didn't know what to do - sigsheet design, application process problem, conflict among members, conflict among apps, conflict among all of them, clash of principles and ideals and dreams and all that confusing stuff, all of which have scared me to the ground, reduced me to utter cinders -

in the midst of all that, i took comfort in knowing karol would always be there to fix them, or at least, supervise me as i pretend to fix them (then, somewhere along the way, she just does so herself because somehow i become part of the problem too, heh), and then charlie would be there too with her intelligent silences (in which i've always found comfort as well) and then francine would be there to make sure things didn't get so heavy, and so on..

and now, it feels like - oh. my. god. i'm on my own, and there's no room for mistakes, because there are people counting on me, and there's lots of them, and the whole idea of me being in charge is scaring the shit out of me.

people, you're going to be led by a kid.

one of these days, i'm sure to find myself looking up and asking, How does this work? Where do I go for this? Who should sign this? With whom should I consult this? What the fuck are we gonna do next? -- one of these days, i will have those questions, and when i look up, there's nobody there anymore.

it's sad. it's scary, and it's sad.

and the best i could do is, you know, give it all a go, only now there is no room for mistakes anymore - i should've made all of them last year, you know, when they were still there to correct them.

but i will try really hard. no, i will try the hardest. i promise i will.

it's hard and intimidating to follow a term like karol's, because we literally started from *scratch*, you know? and she pulled everybody through. it's hard to make a repeat of that.

but yeah. i will try.

by the way - the semplanning's on APRIL 12 and 13 - required attendance for all members. :)

nga pala, to the new mems - you who were worth the fight for - welcome to the Union :) let's rock the world next year.