May 1, 2004

empty

maybe it really was a bad choice, the getting together, but you know, not "getting together" in that sense... we're not together-together, not really, but you know, we've been "not really" for a relatively long time now.

but then, you don't count. i promised not to count, but then, as much as i hate math, on sleepless nights, i just wonder, staring straight up the ceiling, you know, about the what could have beens.

and the winning question really was, "are you still counting?"

because i still am. six months going on seven, could have been, if you had been a bit more stronger, a bit more open, a bit more... a bit more than what you are now.

it'd kill me, i know it will - but i won't let it. samantha from sex and the city said it's just called stupid at the third time. *sigh*

so yeah - not really, you and me. not really, not at all.