Apr. 21, 2006

was it friendship or foreplay?

pero eto muna:

Without you
rent ost

Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows. Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play. The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you. The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you. Without you, the stars roar the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves. Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash. The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you. The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you. The world revives, colors renew, but I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue. Without you. Without you the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats. Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walk, the lungs breathe. The mind churns! The heart yearns! The tears dry, without you. Life goes on, but I’m gone. Cause I die, without you. Without you. Without you.

abohemianlikeu is ♥♥♥ thank you!

* * *

on to the real purpose of this post. since you'd probably never see an episode of the l word in this country anyway, let me go on ahead and spoil you, (season 1 lang naman.)

wala lang. it's just that i never saw it coming, but when it did come to that, i was like, why hadn't i thought of that before? ilene chaiken, you're a bright girl, hah. i'm officially your slave.

anyway, it's just that, it's probably the subtlest build-up of a relationship--imagine that, 13 episodes! and they start the show by swearing that they would never sleep with each other! and at the last moment of the last ep, i'm like: what?

of course, you have absolutely no clue about what i'm talking about. so let me just put it this way.

you're good friends, very good friends. things start, you're both single. in your group, there are designations -- the 7-year-strong couple, the one after whom everybody seems to be after, and the two of you: you're a writer, she's a tennis player, and you're very very good friends.

friendship was something you were both good at. you were there assessing "notes" that time you were trying to stake out that sous chef she was kind of eyeing; there on the phone with her right before their first date; there when they broke up, there helping her out as she tried dislodging half her insides because of too much tequila, there to nurse the hangover; there when she came out to her parents, and it went all wrong; there when her cat died; there even if you didn't approve of that relationship.

always there, there, there.

not to mention, also there at her cat's funeral (yes, funeral!) where she announced she and that partner you were never really in favor of were in fact engaged.

and so there you were, 4 a.m., morning after the announcement, right at her doorstep, sober but not quite together, because this attempt really qualified as being out of your mind. she came out in pyjamas, and it was quite obvious you were interrupting something, what with the "is everything okay honey? you need me there?"-shouting from inside the house, and you're like, in your head, oh god, what am i doing?

so she says, "what's wrong?" and you say, "nothing," but she reads through you, "it's 4 in the morning, alice. what's wrong?"

and you swallow. "you can't get married."

"why?" a totally confused look on her face, and you're actually thisclose to heading back, but.

"because," you say nevertheless.


what kind of a question was 'because?' anyway? here you both were, an hour or so before sunrise, and she's asking you to give her a reason.

because i've been here all along, it doesn't quite get out, but when you move in to kiss her you hope that pretty much says everything that has to be said.

it's both surreal and cliche at the same time, the way things do this curious flashback -- all your relationship mishaps and the nights you spent at bars together looking for prospects and all that breaking up and getting together and getting laid with different people in between, only to come at a sordid realization of how visually impaired you have both been.

it lasts only a couple of seconds, the kiss -- if it had lasted longer, you would have fainted for holding your breath equally long.

and in fairness to her, she kisses right back.

"i should get going," you break in, immediately after the second parting, feeling for the car keys in your pocket, breathing hard. "i definitely should."

you turn around, she doesn't call out after you, or maybe you just didn't hear her, what with the thundering questions in your head, what have i done? what have i done...

* * *

okay. so i hope that was a pretty clear explanation of what happened in the span of thirteen episodes. heh.