Sept. 1, 2006

all this effort

I was angry and bewildered. "Louise, I don't know what you are. I've turned myself inside out to try and avoid what happened today. You affect me in ways I can't quantify or contain. All I can measure is the effect, and the effect is that I am out of control."

"So you try and regain control by telling me you love me. That's a territory you know, isn't it? That's romance and courtship and whirlwind."

"I don't want control."

"I don't believe you."

-- p.53, jeanette winterson's "written on the body" -- for which I am going hungry for a few days.