her 49th, should have been.
from what i wrote about her two years ago:
It's different now. I'm not sure if she'd be happy that they are; a part of me's scared she'd hate me for some of the things I've done to myself - the vices I've acquired, the beliefs I have decided to stand by, some choices I have made. But really, even if she does, I'd still wish she were here.
happy birthday, mom.