May 10, 2008

motherís day post

i was listening to lani mercadoís retelling of the childrenís story Papel de Liha this morning during the Read-Along when one of the teachers from Sophia School asked me if my motherís hands were also rough like sandpaper.

for the sake of shortening the conversation, i just said something like, ďShe worked in the office.Ē

i think teacher just smiled and said, Ēthatís more common nowadays, isnít it.Ē this is to imply that yayas, not moms, do the bulk of the chores these days.

it would have been a longer conversation, had i not been stuck at the first question: were my motherís hands rough, too?

the sad part of this question is that i donít have an accurate answer for it. we were not the touchy-feely mother and daughter tandem. she was out of the house often and i couldnít remember just exactly what iíd been preoccupied with for the first 12 years of my life because really i donít remember much of those years other than the summers i had.

nevertheless, i feel certain my mother and i were the best match. i do miss having her around, and sometimes i still talk to her in my head (not in the crazy way, though) whenever iím stressed or on the verge of something major. now that iím older it feels like sheís always with me ó because i think when i really think really hard about it, i could make decisions as if she were really here talking me through it all. thatís how big the impression she has made on me really is after all these years.

this november it would be 11 years since her passing. parang ang tagal na pero parang kahapon lang rin.

happy motherís day mom.