June 11, 2008

speechless

apparently, my health is still nosediving.

just when i thought i was well enough to attend a party, i think in doing so i just shot down my chances at a quick recovery. now, my sickness has recurred, even turned for the worse ó and i have lost my voice.

the other day, while i was having my haircut (yes, i did get a somewhat standard haircut after watching kung fu panda with my siblings on sunday. with sidebangs to boot. san ka?) my cute korean hairstylist commented in her curious korean english that she thought my sound was good. (phrasing hers, not mine.)

after processing the comment, i realized she was commenting on my voice. to which i only replied, ďthanks, but i still wish i could sing.Ē

i donít really have a good enough ear to realize what these people have picked up on ó a certain niceness to a speaking tone. i remember my Rizal professor in college telling me perhaps i had a career in radio, one time during recitation and iíd just told her i was from mass comm. i think i took it as her subtle way of telling me i had no chances of making it on tv haha.

in another instance, a film professor interrupted a noisy conversation iíd been having with my then-cigarette buddies under the cmc skywalk to ask me to submit a demo tape ó whatever that was. apparently, i thought, my face just wasnít about to make it to the film screen as well. hahaha.

my failed shots at fame notwithstanding, i love my voice. scratch that ó i LOVE talking. and talking, and talking ó i think that was what got me here in the first place. ayan kasi ang daldal pa masakit na lalamunan at lahat, hala sige. pero kasi when you have people around you na masarap kasabawan, mahirap pigilan ang hirit. malat na at lahat, hindi pa huli ang lahat para sa huling hirit!

and so here i am now ó barely audible, understandable, intelligible. iím a transcriberís nightmare! i canít answer phone calls; iím not even that confident that i could speak into the phone and produce a sound akin to a voice. so i have eliza to thank that she has agreed to answer my phone every time it rings (and i tell you, itís not easy because it is not a rare occurrence). later when i get hungry, iíll prolly thank her again for agreeing to call for food delivery in my behalf. hehehe.

so indeed thank technology for intra-office chat, e-mail and of course, ym. i never thought iíd be this dependent on such technology. so yeah, salamat. silent mode muna ako ngayon.

sa mga gustong mamangha sa isang tahimik na version ko, you know where to drop by.